One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in life is to forgive. I was raised on the core values of respect and honor and above it all was love. I watched my grandmother give everyone she could reach love and compassion, whether they deserved it or not. And all I’ve wanted to do was be just like her, but I quickly understood at a young age that I took things a bit personal. Okay, really personal. It’s like if you burned a bridge with me, I hoped, and maybe even prayed at times, that your whole town burned down with it. I know a bit harsh but honest.
Just like everyone else, I’ve had my many ups and downs. I’ve been lied too and had promises broken and I’ve done both to others also, but for some reason, even when I think I’m over it, I’m not able to fully forgive. It’s like the disappointment or anger just lingers on my shoulders, waiting to fall right in front of my face, reminding me of how bad things were in those hurtful moments.
Years have been lost to my bitter anger and disgust for things and people who have burned the hell out of my trust. It wasn’t until I had my little girl, who will be two in June, that I realized how much life is truly out there if you just let go and forgive. She’s taught me already that through all my mistakes as a mother and woman, she can forgive me and still give me pure love. It’s such a beautiful notion and I’m so disappointed that I just now get it. I mean did you read that intro graphic — “Forgiveness is the final form of love”. Love for those who have hurt you and most of all love for yourself. LOVE — the value I’ve been seeking but was missing, due to my on personal non-forgiveness factor.
I really thought that holding on to that pain and hurt would make me stronger, more aware of my surroundings. Magically stopping me from ever being hurt or making the same mistake again. And for the most part it does stop me from making the same mistake twice, but sometimes it’s just a whole new ball game for things to go wrong in a different way.
And let’s think a little deeper about it. Is that person/thing really sitting back and wondering why and how could they do that to me or have they just moved forward? I’m sure the latter, so why should I continue to stand by wondering and waiting on some clarity or continue building a brick wall that is undoubtedly keeping out the good with the bad too.
Life is about so much more, and forgiveness is a unique gift for ourselves. We don’t forgive to make the others happy. No. We do it to heal ourselves, so that we can focus on the more important moments in life.
My home girl and author mentor, Ericka McCracken, has not only written an amazing book about forgiveness after the demise to her engagement, but she also continuously drops knowledge about how wonderful forgiveness is. If you need some additional encouraging words to push you toward a forgiving path, go check her and her book, ALTARcation, out.
“If wholeness is the key, forgiveness is the mechanism.” – Ericka McCracken
Your motivation this week is to take steps toward forgiving someone or something that you have carried on your shoulders for way too long. Whether is actually reaching out to that person, or just writing down what it was and throwing it away (or burning it). Let go and honestly LET GOD! That is the only way that you will give yourself the happiness that you need and deserve. I’ll be right there with you, giving my worries and pain some peace, entrusting that He will take it from there.