Happiness is an inside job and so is self-love.

Valentine’s Day gives the world, especially retailers, a reason for us to show who we love, how we love them. And it’s natural for people to forget that the “who” and “how” also includes ourselves.

So when people get asked “do you love yourself”, they immediately answer “of course”. But do you really? Do we really understand what it means to love ourselves?

Just like we try to do for others, we have to learn different ways to show ourselves love. It may sound weird, but when was the last time you told yourself “I love you”? Be honest. It may seem like an odd action, especially if you decide to do it in front of others, but speaking it into existence makes it real.

How about pampering yourself? When was the last time you ate something that made your spirit float? Or does your self-love need to come from creating a healthy diet for a longer life?

When was the last time you allowed your mind it take a rest? Have you tried meditating, affirmations or praying? Do you have a space or room dedicated to your mental preservation?

When was the last time you looked in a mirror and forgot about your flaws? Have you accepted the wonderful creation that God made, who reflects back at you?

If you’ve answered any of those questions with a “no”, then you’ve got some learning and self-loving to do.

Now I’m not an expert, but I’m a W.I.P. I’m constantly reminding myself that God makes no mistakes, no matter how many times my doubts and the world tries to trick me into believing so.

This Valentine’s Day don’t forget about the person looking back at you in the mirror. Take them out, buy them something they’ve wanted or just give them a day off. And by “they”, I mean you!

Tuesday is the official retail love day, but make every day this year, your self-love day. Once you’ve learned how to pour love unto yourself, loving others becomes easier. My life coach friend Janae (also a contributor on Her Crisis) always tells me that happiness is an inside job, and so is self-love.