The Shocking Way Trauma Affects your Life

Photo by Luis Galvez on Unsplash

Even though May was Mental Health Awareness month, it should be practiced daily, from within! And in this post, I wanted to highlight the importance of complex trauma. The dictionary describes trauma as a deeply distressing or disturbed experience. Complex trauma is when you have multiple trauma experiences. It’s amazing how our brain reacts when confronted with a threat. You will either fight, flight or freeze. Fight, to be aggressive, or be in fight mode; Flight, to runaway; Or Freeze, to feel frozen or stuck in place. I decided to highlight the freeze response in the poem below. I wrote this poem about 2 years ago and never did anything with it. This was (and still is) my first jab at writing poetry so be nice!

**Warning** This poem describes sexual assault/abuse and it may be triggering for some. If you have experienced this or other traumatic experiences, please seek professional help. Purposeful Counseling (link strives to help individuals who’ve experienced traumatic experiences find hope again. Or seek out the National Sexual Assault Hotline, 1-800-656-4673, local supports, or a mental health professional.

A Beautiful Morning
by Melissa Webb

It’s a beautiful morning,
The sun is shining
The birds are chirping,
And summer break is tomorrow.
The papers are graded,
My classroom is clean
And I’m ready for it to begin.
My coworker strolls in my classroom
And we talk about the crazy year.
We chat and he grabs my hand,
He laughs then rubs my arm,
He kiss me while his hand caresses my thigh.
I push him and say “no”
He ignores my command,
Pinning me between my desk
And his six-foot frame.
I punch him in the chest and
Kick his legs but
It wasn’t a fair fight like
Using a knife in a gun fight or
A prey fighting his predator.
He turns me like a rag doll
Slams me face down on the desk
Lifts my skirt
And destroys my vagina.
Each thrust tearing,
And ripping,
And splitting my insides a part.
I hold in my screams
As I hear youthful laugher
Outside the door.
I force my body to go numb.
I stare out the window
To see the bright blue sky.
It reminds me of college when,

It was a beautiful morning.
The sun was shining,
The birds were chirping and
I skipped class with a friend.
Chilling in his dorm room,
Eating soggy cereal
And watching Spongebob.
We talked.
He chatted then locked the door.
He laughed and took his clothes off.
I went to the door and he
Slammed me on the bed.
He said, “I’m taking this”
I punched his chest and
Kicked his legs but
It was no match for his
Six-foot frame
Pinning me down
And forcing his wrath in me.
I screamed
He covered my mouth and
I gasped for air as his
Palm closed my nostrils.
My head wiggles from his hand
As fresh air fills my lungs.
I face the pale yellow wall.
It reminds me of my childhood when,

It was a beautiful morning
The sun was shining and
The birds were chirping.
I was playing “house”
with my older male friend
You know how to play “house”
It’s pretending to be adults.
Someone gotta be the mom and the dad
And you do what mommies and daddies do
the “dad” turned to me and said
“it’s time to make babies, mom”
He laid me down,
Lifted my pale yellow apron
And got on top of me.
I wanted to numb the pain but How?
How can I make it stop?
How can I turn my brain off?
Then it clicked.
I turned my head,
stared out the window,
And noticed
The bright blue skies because
It was a beautiful morning.

Let’s talk about it. How can we help other women who had experiences like the one described in the poem? Comment below.

Melissa Webb is a Licensed Professional Counselor going on 5 years. She is the owner of Purposeful Counseling, LLC. where she empowers and heals adult trauma survivors through therapeutic means and Christianity and strives to heighten the awareness of mental health within the Christian setting. She is new to blogging and enjoys incorporating therapeutic solutions in all of her post. Melissa holds a Master’s Degree in Counseling from Lindenwood University and has certifications in Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing therapy (EMDR) and Board Certified – Telemental Health (BC-TMH). Melissa resides in St. Louis, Mo and enjoys running, hanging out with her nephews and listening to the melodic sounds of trap music.

One Comment Add yours

  1. Dana B. says:

    This poem gripped me by the throat and wouldn’t let go. I’m sharing this one – keep writing sis!

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