Build up your confidence by conquering your fears in 5 steps

Photo by Diana Simumpande on Unsplash

Think about what scares you — the one thing that stops you from doing something you want and even need to at times. Got it! Now how can you conqueror it?

One of my biggest fears is failure. I hate disappointing people or better yet I hate that “I’ve lost” feeling that burns down whatever confidence I once had. It sucks! I mean who really enjoys feeling like they’ve falling short of a goal, want or desire? Short answer: No one. But over time I’ve been able to transform that “L” into a step toward a future “W”.

What are those wise words that leaders tell their soldiers?

They may have won the battle but we’ll win the war.

And that’s the truth as long as you don’t stop fighting. No matter what your fear may be, you can conqueror it.

See if these five steps, ones that I use myself, help you overcome this seemingly impossible task.

  1. Take a moment to understand your fear: How did it even become a fear? Was it something someone told you or you experienced? Is it something of tangible danger or just a mental barrier you fabricated?
  2. Write or talk out solutions to the fear: Personally, I like to do both — write them out in a journal or talk them out with a close friend. Solutions may range from something rational like spraying the perimeter of your house to keep out bugs to something a little more extreme like moving to a different country to open up your restaurant so you don’t have to be judged by family or friends.
  3. Narrow down your solutions to things you can implement tomorrow: This is key because it helps to put things into perspective. Now, this doesn’t mean to disregard those more “outlandish” solutions because you may need to tap into them one day, but you do want to start taking steps as soon as possible which is usually the next day or for some it may be the next minute.
  4. Turn off your brain and start implementing your solution(s): I advise “turning off your brain” for two reasons; 1) You will over-analyze the solution or 2) You will talk yourself completely out of it, letting your fear(s) win. The object isn’t to necessary overcome your fear tomorrow but to take solace in taking steps down that path.
  5. Share your story: I believe our true mission in life is to be able to testify and share our struggles with the next person which could result in unknowingly (or even knowingly) helping them down their own path. Being able to speak out what it was and how you overcame it gives you your power back. You came, you saw and you conqueror — just like the superheroes we read about. And you never know, your story and solution may make you a hero for the next person

So if you fear the dark? Invest in a nightlight or better yet get another job so you can afford to leave your lights on at night. Or maybe you fear losing your job? Invest in yourself and see how you can get to a point where you are indispensable whether it is with new training, a new degree or maybe it’s just in a different role.

I challenge you to tackle your fear head on to overcome it. It may not seem important to knock it out immediately but wouldn’t you hate for years to pass and realize that one fear has caused you to miss out on some of life’s exciting and priceless moments.

Get your “sword” out and run into battle (cheesy I know but you get the point)!


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