I don’t know about you but I learned early on that if you wanted to be successful woman I needed to get good grades in grade school. Then I needed to go to college, graduate in four years then get a good job. And then I would be successful in life. I would hit the pinnacles of all pinnacles in life.

But I must admit that at the time I graduated, I didn’t come out having my “dream” job. I felt very unsuccessful. Sure I finished school with pretty decent grades and within four years but where was my dream job at?

Now when I look back I realize that I should have open my eyes and truly seen the successes that were upon me in my younger years. I held down three jobs in college to help pay for school and home…successfully. I joined the sorority of my dreams…another success. Not only did I go away to college, even though it was within hours of home, I was also able to carry myself after finishing school because of my successful budgeting for years…definitely an achievement. It’s funny that in the moment, it felt like I was failing. But I only felt that way because I allowed the world to engrave in me that I needed to hit a certain standard to be a successful person.

Now as I get ready to hit my 30th birthday this year, I know that my life may not be the cookie cutter style that others have, or maybe I made some lefts and rights when others stayed straight but I can no longer allow the “others” to define what makes me successful.

There are so many wonderful aspects in life that can define a success. What are yours? Is it to finish college, or maybe go for your Masters or PhD? Maybe it’s being able to provide for your family seamlessly or maybe just take your family on a trip to Disney world? Maybe you are working towards a healthy life or maybe you need to gain some weight for your health? Your success may lie in going out for your dream job or to travel the world but whatever it is, YOU must define it. Not the world. Some of us put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be what others find successful but could never truly fulfill our destinies in life if we are focused on the “others”.

Find out what makes you the person you always wanted to be and then go get it! Your success lies only in your hands, not in the opinions of the “others”.