Growing up in middle to lower class status, I always wondered why I couldn’t have more. Why couldn’t I get the newest Jordan’s or Tommy Hilfiger fits? Why couldn’t I look like the other girls with the new short cuts or braids? Why couldn’t I go to Disney World or the beach just for the summer like my white friends at school?

The grass always looked greener and so far away.

I judged my situation to be “hard” and soon I just let what I wanted go, deciding to live in my own reality. A reality that after a while, didn’t seem so bad.

Now in my adulthood, not only have I been to beaches and Disneyland, but I’m able to hold down a household, give me kids what I never had and then take care of myself in ways I never knew I could.

STOP WITH THE APPLES TO ORANGES

How often are you enamored by something that you don’t have? You think you want what you see or hear, because it looks “better”. You judge your look, your job, your wealth, your success, your thinking to something or someone who seems to be “better” and where you should be in life. All the while not understanding that we all live different lives for a reason.

Scientifically, our genetic makeup is different. We are born into different lifestyles, values, religions, sexualities, ethnicities, etc. So why do we waste so much time trying to judge each other, wanting to decipher who is living better than the next. It’s just like judging apples to oranges. Coconuts to chestnuts. Vinegar to water. Box braids to dreadlocks. Notorious B.I.G to Tupac…you get the point.

YOUR STEPS. YOUR TIME. YOUR SUNSHINE.

How often do you look around and try to compare your story to others—those on T.V., peers, friends or even family members? How often are you disappointed on where you are on your life’s path, not understanding why you don’t have the job you want; the money you want; the family you want; or the spirituality you were hoping to have? If you’ve answered 1 or more times, you’ve already missed too many moments in life.

Looking for greener pastures keeps you missing each beautiful sunrise. You’re too busy looking around searching for what’s never been meant for you, rather than living in your own steps.

Stop looking everywhere but up for your guidance.

This week, remember that your path was made only for your steps. You can look to others to learn about how they got where they are—for the good and bad—but understand that you must go to and through different test to live your own destiny.

Live in your world. Love in ours. Testify for us. We are all unique in the way we look, talk, walk and live. Never deny yourself a day of sunshine. You too will get the rays you so deserve.