Artwork by Ellis Wilson, “Funeral Procession”

As much happiness as the holidays may bring, sadness sometimes follow from the absence of those who are no longer physically here to share in those occasions. For me, I miss my mom every holiday—really every day.

She has been gone now for 11 years, this coming December 26. Outwardly, I’m joyful and excited to create memories with my family, both those immediate and who have traveled from across the country. But internally, it’s hard to dismiss the sorrow and pain that comes from not having my mommy here.

The weirdest part of it all is that some years there are no tears, just laughter, and smiles from those priceless memories of her. Other years those same memories bring tears, anger, and sadness from wanting her to experience the joy that I feel. But I’ve been shown over and over, that there was a purpose, like with everything else, in her passing. God always has a plan and he knew it was her time to rest, no matter what I or anyone else may have thought. Yet and still it doesn’t lessen the loss.


After the loss of my mother, I watched several people in my close circle lose someone who they loved. Something that I prayed they wouldn’t have to go through like I did. I’m not going to lie, I was even mad at God for dismissing my prayers. Then a natural realization occurred; we all must go through those moments loss because those moments remind us to live.

There are so many life decisions that seemingly become easier when you lose someone close. Your angle through life’s lenses becomes clearer. Your perspective is sharpened.

After my mom passed, I finally grew up. I was forced to step into adulthood and deal with whatever life was going to throw at me. Unfortunately, if my mom hadn’t left this earth when she did, I wouldn’t have moved to Atlanta and started a career. I wouldn’t have had the confidence to publish my first and second book. I wouldn’t have digested so quickly the life lessons behind being a wife, mother, friend, sister and the other roles I hold today.

Mom’s passing taught me the realist lesson of all…to LIVE.


If you haven’t learned it yet, let me pass along this lesson, God has a plan and it will be put into place when it needs to be. On his time and not ours. Tomorrow is not promised, and He reminds us that by taking those back home who have made impacts on our lives.

Your motivation this week, along with my own, is to find meaning in the time and memories that we have with our loved ones both those still here and those gone. The holidays give us an excuse to come together from all over and celebrate our religion, our traditions and our love for one another. The days between give us additional minutes and seconds to create memories with our loved one that we will take with us on those days that they aren’t here. Cherish them and enjoy every second. #forevermoments #motherhood

This post is dedicated to Alfredda Allen.

Alfredda Allen (April 23, 1957 – December 26, 2006) “Gone but never forgotten”

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Niccole "DNC" Coleman says:

    Reblogged this on Make a Revelation – Seek a Revival – Join the Revolution and commented:

    Today, we’re taking a moment to look back at a post as a reminder that many of us may love the holidays but are still grieving and hurting from losing someone that we love. Stay strong, keep praying and remember that they never truly leave you. #ThursdayThoughts

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s